You like to post instagram pictures.
You like to read novels on your phone.
You like to watch animals vs human videos on youtube.
You love to play computer games.
You love me too.
You filled the hot patch for me and put it in after I fall asleep.
You gave me the better looking sweet potato.
You always let me eat your noodles after I finished mine.
You are bubbly and cheerful even after I gave you my cold.
You are carefree.
But you check your phone all the time.
Like it had sucked the soul out of you.
When you are waiting for me in the car.
When you are using the bathroom.
When you are waiting for the dinner being cooked.
After I fall asleep.
And I woke up, and you seemed startled.
I can scream “What are you doing sneaky!”
I have done that.
I can also pretend to not care a bit and be cheerful.
But this bothers me.
If we are living in the same room and I still feel lonely from time to time.
I can drag you to do things with me.
Go biking, hiking.
But once we are home again, you pick up your phone.
Like that is your thread of life to connect the dots.
I can convince myself to admire you for the love to read.
I don’t read that much.
But I need more time with you.
Not just watching TV shows during meal time.
I want to share more with you.
I want to talk more with you.
They say: you can’t change other people.
The will to change has to come from within.
Sometimes I decided to wait it out.
But you fall into your routine of playing games and sleeping late.
We are different.
I want to do things to make my days count.
I want to go running, go biking, read books, find jobs, improve myself.
You are perfectly happy just relaxing and hanging out with your phone in bed.
I jump out of bed once I open my eyes 5AM in the morning excited to start the day.
You would much prefer lying around.
I guess I need some of your qualities.
I need to relax.
But I feel my urge to let others know about me.
I feel that I am all by myself.
If my most important thing in life is you, I would want to do everything with you.
But you are perfectly fine when I am asleep, you can do your things without disturbance then.
There is something fundamentally wrong with my thinking I know.
If it is phone or me, you would choose me I know.
But if you are not confronted with the choice, you are just happy the way you are.
I convince myself that I need to develop more things to do on my own.
I pick up a ukulele and I play.
But there is only so much ukulele I can play before my fingers suffer.
I pick up a book and read.
But I can only read for so long before my head hurts.
In my mind, there are:
breakfast, food, lab work, what do I cook for dinner, how much should I run, what new recipes shall I try out, start a youtube channel.
I am not sure what’s in your mind.
And this bothers me.
Technology is to be used by us.
We shall not be the slave for technology.
Please stop stuffing information in.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we live without electronics for a few days.
Just like the good old days.
Would you put down the phone?