weekly update–mental state and others

Just a few weeks ago, I was having some major body image issues. I put on a few pounds from the trip back to China, and after I got back I didn’t get back to my previous weight as I have imagined. I feel like I was bloating all the time. I start to accept it as it is and the bloating gets a little better now, and I just found out that it could be due to the transition to a high carb low fat diet. Too much water and fiber is going in. I guess I start to take my body as it is. I am just supposed to be like this. I love the fact that I can bike for 3h, run for 1 or 2h, swim for 1h. I just like that my body can do the endurance sports like this. I love my body for this.

This week I got my period, not so much mood swings as usual. I have increased my meditation time to about half an hour each session. On days that I don’t swim in the morning, I would sit and meditate to start the day.

Another thing is I started to drink a liter of water before having breakfast. This has helped tremendously with my morning bowel movement. Another thing I realized is that I drink 2L of water in the morning and the rest of the day I don’t really drink much.

I finally got out of the closet and told my friend that I am vegan. My fiancee has a lot of support for me, I feel safe and supported and loved. I am not sure about my friends’ feeling at the moment. My fiancee told me he thought I was trying to convince others to go vegan. I actually was. It might be too much to take in. But at least I made the first step. I think it is good to be open about it. But I have to be careful not to intimidate them. It sounds like restriction. No meat, no milk, no egg, no butter, no cheese. But actually I think it is abundance. You got to eat all the vibrant vegetables and fruits and grains and nuts. I can eat however much I want. And I feel good after each meal. I don’t have heartburn anymore.

I feel peaceful during the day, maybe it is due to the meditation. Maybe it is just I start to love myself a little bit more. Don’t be too hard on myself. Chill. Breathe. I think it might be the first time that I experience this kind of peacefulness.

I sent a friend away, before she left I went to her pole dancing graduation. I was blown away by her. I have been to a class before with her, she has curves and not much dancing experience, so I can see that it is hard for her. But after 6 months, I still see the girl with curves, but have put in so much to get to where she is now. She has so many bruises on her knees from the floor work, also on top of her feet, between her legs. I am just beyond astonished. During her dance, for one part, she tried to do the headstand for 7 times before she finally made it. Everyone was shouting and cheering so loud for her, it is just awesome.

I find that very impressive and encouraging. I am so proud of her. Other girls have smooth moves, but my friend’s performance took my breath away. Now I want to do pole dance again.

Workwise, experiments are going well, I have printed my poster for a symposium next week. Lots of things done, I can’t complain.

2h video chatting with my parents. From microbiom of our body to making curry for a bridal shower, from how we perceive money, work and job to AirBnB. It was great talking to my folks.

Happiness and peacefulness starts from within.


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