Your refuge is not in the externalized anipulation of hte circumstances that present themselves to you.
Your refuge can only be your own selfhood.
That’s the only place where the ultimate experience of inner peace for which you yearn so deeply, can be found.
Many times, I found myself wanting to escape. Wanting to spend the weekend in Destin for example. I do enjoy the peaceful afternoons lying on the beach, but I found myself so irritable even on the drive back home. I guess it means that putting yourself in a situation that is peaceful doesn’t solve the problem. It is your heart that needs the peace.
The other day as I was taking a walk into the park behind our apartment, I saw a friend studying by the lake. It was such a serene scene to look at. Then I realized that, I don’t have to drive 2.5h to find my peacefulness. It is right around the corner. And Meditation is just like a preparation for all the hectic things that are happening in my life, and in my mind. I will center myself and breath in deeply when I found the monkey inside my head starts running around again. Just tell myself that it is OK, It is not you. It is only your thoughts. It is only your emotion. Don’t panic, It is gonna be OK.
And at the end of the day, I just think to myself, this is what I contribute today. There is no regret, no shame, just what I can do and what I did. And I will give all of that to something bigger than myself. And I am detached from them all.